Tag Archives: raising kids

Raising Kids Is Not For The Faint At Heart

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Looking Out1

I am finding with each child there are different struggles. There are no cookie cutter methods in being a great parent, what works for one does not work for the other. That fact frustrates me, but I praise God he is endless on patience and wisdom. I am also seeking wisdom from you. First off I am not speaking about the child in the photo above, but the way he is looking out the window communicates how I am feeling right now.

Those who are raising or have raised kids, have you ever gone through a season where a child pulls away from anything to do with family? My child is a good boy, does well in school, does not get in trouble, has a nice group of friends, but when it comes to being with family there is no emotion. Some examples:

    1. Tried to reach out and do something we know the child would enjoy, I think he did enjoy himself, but as a parent you felt like you were speaking to a wall the whole time. No response or emotion.



    2. You give them some tasks like “Make sure you do this…” or “remember Dad is picking you up from school today.” Each task is forgotten, they ride the bus home, they respond they did not “remember.” This has happened to many times to count.



    3. This child rides the school bus, but usually he lets me know when he is leaving the house in the morning. This morning I did not even realized he had left until I searched for him and found him gone.

I know, as a parent, our job is not to parent so our children like us or think we are cool. But right now I would settle for acknowledging we are alive. Both my husband and I are struggling and praying, asking the Lord to show us how to love him so that he feels loved. I also tell myself it is just a stage and I pray that is true. His birthday is coming up and when we inquire what he would like to do, it is always, “I dunno.”

The only person my son lights up for is his grandfather. I sit there and watch the two of them interact with the amazement of seeing my son come out of his shell, but also with hope that one day he can interact with his parents the same way.

Have any of you gone through a similar season. And believe me I am already praying for him and asking God for wisdom. And I will make sure I am active in his life whether he wants me there or not. I am just frustrated and feel I would get more reaction from parenting the walls within my house than I do with one of my sons.

Thanks for letting me ramble.

Raising Crazy Kids and Living to Tell About It

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“Stop fighting with your sister!”

“I just want you to love each other.”

“Oh Lord, what are these kids going to be like when they are older?”

“My greatest accomplishment will be not to kill one of them.”

These are all phrases uttered at one time or another by a person my brother, sister and I tested daily….Mom. We were her greatest joy and her greatest frustration during the years she was trying to raise us to be respectable.

I mentioned having two boys in the span of 18 months was the most difficult thing I have ever done in my life, well Mom had it worse. She had two kids in the span of 4 days less than a year apart. My sister and brother are what she likes to call, “Irish Twins.” I was her first born, born 5 years earlier. Not only was I the oldest, but being 5 years old when my sister was born I soon became “Ms. Mommy.” I had a real living doll to torture play with. The only problem with this plan is that my sister is what you nicely call the “strong willed child.”  She was not going to be told what to do by anyone!  Hence the problem and over 15 years of fighting and driving my Mom absolutely crazy!!

Mind you my sister and I would fight with each other but if anyone attacked from the outside they soon realized we were not a force to be reckoned with.  We were each other’s punching bag not anyone else’s! My poor brother spent his life hiding from these crazy girls.  But that is ok, he now has great experience for his own daughter and will find life’s craziness in raising his own TWIN boys.

Poor Mom would work her heart out, but as soon as Dad came home from work both of us girls ran to him.  You see Dad could do no wrong, it was all Mom’s fault.  I know now as a Mother what it feels like to be under appreciated (sorry Mom). I am sure if she had the idea below, she would have used it on my sister and I!!

Now each of us siblings are married with our own families.  Mom survived.  Mom is the support my sister and I lean on daily.  She is our biggest cheerleader, the one we call crying when life knocks us down, and she is the one that encourages us to keep learning more about God.

My prayer is that she is like her own mother and lives to see her own great grandchildren before God calls her home.

Mom, thank you for all the hard work and sacrifices you made to raise us crazy girls and son.  Happy Mother’s Day!!!

But I am telling you the truth, it really was sissy’s fault! I am innocent I swear.
(love you sis)

** No that is not me in the picture, that is my sister and brother. Do you know I don’t own one picture of the three of us????? (just saying Mom)

The Road is Long and Hard, but the End Sweeter Than the Beginning

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Sometimes a difficult and rocky road makes the arrival that much sweeter. “It will click don’t worry Mom,” I was told by his teachers while he was in 2nd grade. Then in 3rd grade he fell further behind, the words he could read were from memorizing what was already read to him. Falling further behind continued into 3rd grade. When a child struggles with reading, it affects everything else. My youngest son could be classified as gifted when it comes to math, he thinks mathematically. But as parents we could not figure out why he was struggling in reading. I have always had a passion about reading, so has my husband. That was an area where, until then, we felt as parents we did good. We read to our boys every night.

As you know with a third child I am sure he was not read to as much as my first, life happens.  What is a Mom’s first reaction?

Guilt.

I began to heap tons of Mommy guilt on myself for possibly not reading to him enough.

By the end of 3rd grade we knew we had a problem, things were “not clicking.”  Many tears were shed by me and by my youngest.  He was frustrated.

We enrolled him into Sylvan Learning Center.  So for three days a week we would drive across town after school for reading tutoring.  He did make some progress, but not as we had hoped.   The counselors at the learning center said, “don’t worry it will click.”  As a mother I still felt guilty and many times after receiving a poor score I would cry behind the closed doors.

Father, help me, help my child.

As I mentioned earlier this week, God gave me three different boys.  My oldest had to study to get his A’s, my middle child only showed up and received his A’s, but my youngest who worked the hardest out of all three was struggling to even pass.

After spending a lot of money and realizing things were not improving as we had hoped, we made an appointment with a psychologist.  I wanted to walk into his office and throw myself on his couch and confess this was all my fault.  I did not read to my child enough.

Why do we mothers do this to ourself?  Maybe I am the only one?

After reviewing my son’s chart, he looked right in my eyes and he said, “Has anyone told you that you have done all you can and this is just something he will struggle with?” I began to cry.  I am sad this will be a struggle for my son, but I was released of my mommy guilty (which I should not have had in the first place).

My son has dyslexia.  I had a name for our problem.  The thing is, it was not evident to his teacher, or the learning center, or us (his parents), but the psychologist saw it right away.  Finally we found the help he needed.  We met with a private reading specialist that made all the difference in the world.

So why do I share this struggle with you?  Because I would love for you to share in my joy when I tell you FINALLY in his last year of elementary school my youngest child made….

HONOR ROLL.

When he brought home his report card, this Mom cried and Dad cheered.  All three of my boys have made honor roll, but this one is extra special.  The difficult, rocky road made the arrival so much sweeter!