That is the question I had after reading a thought provoking article Albert Mohler wrote on his blog yesterday. I believe in promoting abstinence. Sex should only be within the confines of marriage. So the question I have as Christian parents raising kids should we encourage them to marry at an earlier age?

Society and many of our churches suggest we encourage them to wait until they are older. As cited in Albert Mohler’s article, Sociologist Mark Regnerus in his book “The Case for Early Marriage” (which I have not read) argues that having them wait until they are middle to late 20’s is waiting to long.

In the Christianity Today article by Mark Regnerus he says, “Indeed, over 90 percent of American adults experience sexual intercourse before marrying. The percentage of evangelicals who do so is not much lower.” I would not be surprised if that is even a bit higher percentage because there are many unreported cases that never comes to light.

We have an epidemic of Godly Christian men and women who fall into this sexual sin far too easily. Would encouraging them to marry in their late teens or early 20’s help??

You might be surprised by my answer, I believe it would help.

Mind you I do struggle with the idea of two immature people marrying and taking on the cares of the world at a young age. I worry that while sexual sin among Christians may decrease a bit, the divorce rate may increase (but they argue against that point in the Christianity Today article).

This is not a problem with a solid solution.

What I do know is there are GOOD people who are Christians who are encouraged to wait until they are mature, have a secure job, and are “steady” before they consider marriage. Our churches directly or indirectly teach this also. It sounds good in a perfect world, but I believe it sets up so many people to fall in the trap of sexual sin. And Satan loves that.

As quoted on Mohler’s blog, Regnerus says :

Evangelicals tend to marry slightly earlier than other Americans, but not by much. Many of them plan to marry in their mid-20s.Yet waiting for sex until then feels far too long to most of them. And I am suggesting that when people wait until their mid-to-late 20s to marry, it is unreasonable to expect them to refrain from sex. It’s battling our Creator’s reproductive design

Mark Regnerus argues we need to be more proactive in teaching marriage.  He says, “In reality, spouses learn marriage, just like they learn communication, child-rearing, or making love. Unfortunately, education about marriage is now sadly perceived as self-obvious, juvenile, or feminine, the domain of disparaged home economics courses. Nothing could be further from the truth.

When I shared this article with my sister she replied:

I think there should be so many things in the couples path to make a marriage work these days, like a good support group/marriage group, strong Christian family or friends around, and I definitely think that both the bride and groom need to both be strong in their faith. (hope you dont mind me quoting you sis) You can read the rest of her wonderful comments on my facebook page. And she does share some good wisdom.

I want to add that I agree with all of the above also, unfortunately that is the exception not the rule.  At least having all of what is mentioned above.  I too wish each marriage has that type of support.  I had that support (at least where family was concerned), but unfortunately I was on the other side of the US so for me it was different.

There are many reasons why people should not get married, I am looking at this from the perspective of good Christian people who love each other but are waiting to marry until they are older.  I think when a dating couple realizes they have met the person they are going to spend the rest of their life with, they should begin planning to get married sooner rather than later (obviously I am thinking of individuals older than 18).  I feel by them waiting, it opens the door for the possibility of sexual sin and a place Satan can trip up a Christian marriage before it even begins.

Yes as a mother I want my sons to be on solid footing before they marry, I want to know they can provide for my future daughter adequately, and I would like them to have a little maturity under their belt. Unfortunately sometimes we can’t have all our ducks in a row before we walk down the isle. If the choice is to live in sexual sin or to marry at an early age, I would want my sons to marry.  Then I would tell them to buckle up because marriage is a difficult journey with greater rewards than you can image.

I would suggest you read the articles I linked to, join me in my blogfrog community to discuss. Would love to hear your arguments for or against.  Did you marry early? If so how did it affect your  marriage.  Did you wait and was that mistake to wait?

Photo by truebluetitan