Elizabeth Stone once said, “Making the decision to have a child – it is momentous. It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking around outside your body.”
I have often reflected on that comment as my boys are growing and becoming their own individual. One mother said to me recently, “I feel so unprepared for this journey of parenthood” and I have to agree, even though my boys are almost all college age, I still don’t feel prepared. And Mom has often told me it is when they move out that you worry the most and pray the hardest.
When your heart is yours you can protect it or make the necessary precautions to protect it, but when your heart is walking around outside your body you lose the control to protect it and sometimes it shatters into pieces. What do you do then?
I am good at giving advice when asked, I am good at pointing others to God when they are struggling, but when it is me who is hurting that advice is hard to follow.
Often times as a parent you come before God raw, broken and with tears falling down your face telling him you don’t even know how to pray. You don’t know how to fight. And this life is taking everything out of you. It is then you come to the end of a rope, tie a knot and hold on.
It is at this time I list what I know to be true, despite what I feel:
1. God is faithful
2. God loves my children even more than I do.
3. God hears my prayers
4. God loves me and cares about my problems.
5. God is sovereign.
6. God heals.
7. God provides.
9. God is in the details.
10. God will give you wisdom.
These are some FACTS that I know. I may not have the warm, fuzzy God feeling surrounding me right now, I may feel there are others who do this parenting job better than me, yet He still chose me to raise these three boys. I also need to release what others may think about me or my decisions and do the best I can.
Some days that is all I can offer God…”doing the best that I can.” He takes that weak ability and adds His transforming power to change lives.
I bank my boys lives on His transforming power.