When I read this quote, I said out loud “isn’t that the truth.” This is something I struggle with and I have to keep things in check. I have three boys that love to play sports, and each has their own activities and none of them drive yet.
Last year I had to step down from helping at church, it was a struggle for me to do so. But to be available for my children, it was a decision I had to make. I struggled with this because I know how hard churches need volunteers, and I do help out in big things. And to be honest I think there are some upset feelings among a few women in my church because I don’t help out as much. Not many of them talk to me anymore, or like they use to. But I am at peace with my decision.
I use to teach bible study, I use to help in the middle school; I use to help in the high school room when they needed help. But when I was leaving my kids at home, to go work at church, it just did not feel right to me. I cried out to the Lord, “where do you want me to serve you?” And the thing that came to my mind is, my kids are only going to be this age one time, and if I am too busy, I am going to miss it. Even busy doing “good stuff.” I will be able to volunteer when I am a bit older, and my kids have their own transportation to do things. Right now my ministry is with them, making sure they are going to all their church functions, taking them to their sport of the season, and picking them up from school each day. I am raising three boys that will one day be “head of a family.” I take this seriously.
My priorities right now are God, husband, kids. And with kids it is homework, extra church activities, and sports. One day the kids will be gone and moved away, so I want to savor every moment and not be “too busy” for them.
God being who he is though then led me to blogging. And that is where I feel I can make a difference. Blogging is my most active ministry right now. Writing for Laced With Grace and Internet Café, makes me feel somehow in some small way I am making a difference for the Kingdom of God.
I am also using this time to study God’s word more, I will then be ready when the Lord may call me in a more active ministry. But for right now I have three boys to raise, and with God’s grace and mercy have them grow up to be Mighty Men of God.
You can get the CWO icon here. Head on over to Fruit In Season to read more wonderful takes on this weeks quote.
Amen, this was a nice post Laurel.
I sure can relate with the short time we have with our children, and our first ministry needs to be with them. Thank you for sharing and the reminders.
Ministry starts at home for every wife and mother. Did we all forget that?
As you read my post, you’ll see also how God adapted my ministry for this season of Motherhood as well.
Continue to influence through the ministry of raising your children, being a helpmate to your husband, and reaching out through the Internet. All by the way are giving glory to God!
Remember it’s far better to please God than to please people.
“Pearls of wisdom…a heavenly voice.”
http://avoicetobeheard.blogspot.com/
I have been in the same position for the last couple of years. It seemed like I was involved in every. single. thing. at church, then when I got pregnant, and after I had the baby, I just had to slow down in a few areas. I’m starting to get back in there a bit, but not like before. Thanks for sharing your thoughts! I always love reading them!
Well said. You are not responsible to how others react when you say “no”–but you are responsible to God when He says to you, “say no.” Something I am learning. Thank you for the reminder.
I believe you are doing the right thing Laurel
Well written — may the God be with you always
Your reward for your good deeds will be in heaven… well done 
The world needs more people like you
Great post. I love having more time to study His Word. Sometimes, I think, we just need that time to renew and refresh our relationship with Him! Your writings are always a blessing to me
What a great post! I think it is everyone’s personal struggle with how much to be involved with church. I also think sometimes that a “regular” stepping down from duties at church can catalyze another person to step up to the plate. But it really is a struggle because we know we should be involved with our body of believers, but to what extent? I think that it is really on an individual basis.
Amen, Laurel. Although our girls are grown, and one has moved out, they still come after God and Hubby.
If God wants something done at your church, He will raise up somebody to do it!
Blessings to you in His name.
Amen!
Some times we forget that persecution can come in many different forms and from within the body of Christ.
Somebody once told me after an experience with a body of believers–”sometime rejection is God’s protection”.
In the end His agenda is the only thing that will matter.
Thanks for the witness.
I find myself having seasons of doing too much and then I back off. Right now I’m in a “back-off” season and it’s hard because people expect me to be there all the time. It’s hard to say “No” and I don’t enjoy it. I think God does speak to our hearts on this if we can take time out of our busyness to listen.
Great post, Laurel.
Amen to that, Laurel. I am glad that you found that out earlier than I did. I was busy at church all the time “doing” ministry, but forgot my family over it (and to get myself refueled)…Can I say burnout.
Yeah, a lot of people got upset with me when I finally stepped down and wanted to safe me marriage. God stepped in in a big way, and I don’t regret it either.
I think we have much to talk about in a week
Blessings to your day and always.
Amen! I certainly can relate Laurel great post. Thank you so much for sharing .
In his endless love,
Angel ( Pearls of Wisdom)
Laurel, thanks for your post. I am so sorry that you’re getting the cold shoulder from the frozen chosen. But I take heart that I was not the only one to experience it and I hope you take encouragement from the evidence here that you are not alone either.
But it does hurt to realize that people you used to talk to several days a week not only don’t call but don’t have time to talk in general. I have since taken a new view of the “sage wisdom” that if you want to get integrated into a new church then volunteer. What my experience (of stepping down) taught me was that I wasn’t integrated as a real friend and that without the committee agenda people didn’t know or care to know anything real about me.
One of my kids’ teachers (long ago) had a handmade poster in her room that read “What is right is frequently not popular; What is popular is often not right.”
The thing that struck me immediately is your remark that you are raising three boys who will be heads of household someday. What an awesome responsibility and yes, it’s one that deserves all your attention.
There can’t be a better ministry than that, Laurel. I think you’ve found a really good balance. You’re concentrating your energies where they are most needed right now but you’re also making an impact with the places you are a guest writer.
I surely wouldn’t worry about the attitude of the women you used to work with at church. Too bad they can’t see the merit in what you’re doing.
The post my sister wrote last week (about changing her name from Martha to Mary) could be the twin post to this one.
Laurel,
First of all, I LOVED the quote. I think I’m going to post it on my fridge!
Secondly, I can totally relate. I stepped out of women’s ministry 2 years ago at the Lord’s direction. He told me to focus on my family and my marriage. I’m sooo glad that I did! Thankfully, I have not had the unfortunate attitudes to deal with that you’ve experienced.
I’m prayerfully considering stepping back into ministry in the fall. HE’s turning my heart in that direction, so we’ll see what happens.
Great post.
I used to have a lot of things that I felt that I “had” to do, but I’m with you. I realized that I only have so much time with my children and I want them to know that I WANT to be with them. I didn’t fully step down from everything; I want them to see that we’re supposed to have a servant’s heart like Jesus, but it’s all with a full knowledge of our limitations. I think that is one of the reasons that Paul gave the instructions and directions to the older women in the church:
Likewise, teach the older women to be reverent in the way they live, not to be slanderers or addicted to much wine, but to teach what is good. Then they can train the younger women to love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled and pure, to be busy at home, to be kind, and to be subject to their husbands, so that no one will malign the word of God. Titus 2:3-5
I know that my time for service will come when I too am the older woman with more free time on my hands.
And I go the extreme. I don’t let my children get too busy either. We value our family time, each and every one of us.
There is great wisdom in what you are doing Laurel. Looking back at that season of my life, I know that the time you spend with your children is so very valuable. There will come a time, as you wisely realize, when you will be in a different season. Then God will have other things for you to do. Right now, you are exactly where you are supposed to me (in my humble opinion).
Great post Laurel! A Motherwise study I took from Denise Glenn a few years back studied the priorities of life in order – God, Husband, Kids, Work, Ministry. Sounds like you have that down. For me, it isn’t so much about saying No at church, with my husband being one of the ministers and me working outside our home (not my first choice), it’s getting caught up in the activities of my child. I see so many people in the church catering their every whim to whatever their children want to do, and that’s not really bringing them up godly. You have great focus, thanks for sharing!
glad to see I wasn’t the only one who related it back to my children being this age only once! How important to remember!
You have made the right decision, in my opinion, and people in the church need to respect that. At the marriage conference Jason participated in in Novemeber, they mentioned all the “affairs” we can have, including a “work affair” or “church affair”. Things that sap our energy and take our time from our family will have stronger negative repercussions in the long run than saying “no” to some things for a certain season of life. I look so forward to serving in many different ministries, but for now my family needs me first and foremost. Other things have to be secondary. Thanks for posting, Laurel!
I am sad to hear that you have received looks or some may not to talk with you as they had in the past because you have chosen not to volunteer at this season. I always encourage the ladies in our church to keep make their home and family a priority according to Titus 2 and usually (not always) they find they are able to serve in a way that God directs and are much more effective. You are absolutely right, your boys will only be at this age once and before you know it they will be grown and off on their own.
So true. We have to be careful that we don’t miss the BEST because we’re too busy pursuing what’s GOOD.
And I think you are a complete blessing in the blogosphere! What a wonderful ministry!
The ministry of our Children is on that is of upmost importance. It is a blessing I know of for a fact. You’ll not regret giving up other things for them and their spiritual needs and being there for them. God Bless
I loved reading your take on this week’s quote…..thanks for being real about where you are at in the busyness of life.
Blessings
The current theme for me continues. It’s amazing how God weaves HIS tapestry together in our lives. Being one who doesn’t drive, I am not as free as others are to become involved in things. Even now I find attending a daytime Bible study a stretch and don’t know if it’s something I am to continue. I was talking to Adam last night about this again. I shared with him that often others think we are not serving God unless we are busy in the church. Yet, the truth is we are serving God in a grand way. I once said that I would be sad if I saved the world and yet lost my own child. This was not to say that the world is less valuable than my child but I so hope that the ones entrusted to my care will be more hungry for Him because of my daily example to them. It is the most effective ministry I have right now and it needs lots of time. If I can’t serve my hubby and children well, how can I serve others?
This all on the heels of an article I’ve read about the role of Titus 2 women being to teach the younger women to respect/honour their husbands and to love their children. They weren’t called to endorse all the Bible studies and make us more busy.
Okay . . . I’ll keep these fingers from flying. I’m sure you can tell a lot has been on my heart lately. :0) Have a great day Laurel!
You have no idea how timely this post is for me. God has been speaking to me about my spiritual gift…
In a nutshell, God has been revealing to me that I am trying to make spiritual gifts that I DON’T have – fit into my life. Mainly because my spiritual gift (after taking literally lots of tests) is not one I am comfortable with…even though I enjoy it! Did that make sense? See, my gift is teaching/writing. I am trying to give God totally control here – and like you, I am having to re-prioritize things in my life…so that I have time to develop the gift God has given me.
Thanks for your transparency here – I am thankful that God used you to confirm things that He has been speaking to me!
Oh, you sound at peace with your decision.
I have made the same call, yet still stuggle with a little guilt.
I am finding it tough over here, in Indonesia, as the needs are SO much greater.
You are so right in that our children are only this age once.
I am going to save this post and re-read it when the need arises.
Thankyou Laurel
I can definitely relate to this post so much. God has been dealing with me about this for quite a few months. I know that for now my ministry is at home and not as much at church. That does not mean that I just push God away, but it does mean that I put my children before the “busyness” of church and other activities. I want to please God in everything I do and that includes in raising my children. Loved your post! Blessings!
I relate…totally. We knew when they came into this world they were a gift…somehow as the church activities…the working, the teaching, the teaching more, the worship team and on and on…we forgot they were still a gift but had to be loved and directed and HAD to have time thrown their way to help them become GIFTS to the world.
I suspect, many of us are coming to this understanding!
This was a great one this week–especially as I am struggling to keep my priorities in line as people are beginning to request my time again. It is hard to say no–in fact just this ecvening I volunteered to help with a ministries website. Ack! Hubby was ready to shoot me.
I have enough opportunities coming my way to fill 3 days for every one. *Sigh.
what a great graphic!
So true!
One thing I learned about helping out at church: If I take on a lot of jobs, I hoard all those blessings and keep someone else from experiencing the joy of service! In letting go of some of the tasks I used to do, other women have stepped up. It’s been an honor to help them get going and watch them grow as they serve.
There’s a season for everything. Even a season for stepping back for a while.
I so agree with you that we only have one chance with our kids. I also strugged the same as you and have stopped volunteering so much.
A great post, with some serious reminders for me…Although I’m not big on volunteering right now, I prefer to stay in my own little cubby hole (my house), I still need to be aware of myself, and make sure that I don’t get too wrapped up in the things here at home, to be available to my girls.
Very well stated girl. Thanks for the post. It has helped remind me what an important job I hold being home with my precious babies!
Oh, yeah… I totally struggle with this, too!
Yey!
Thank you so much for this post, you can feel so torn sometimes between what you know you can do in church and what you really should do. You’ve encouraged me becuse i was feeling quite guilty for not doing more after putting my foot down abit. And I also feel excited about all the fun times to come with my boys.
Keep up the good work,
Del =o)
PS. Would love you to read my little blog http://www.peteanddel.blogspot.com/
AMEN AMEN AMEN… I backed down from a lot of “volunteer” stuff too.. it’s amazing all the “friends” you had in your life that called you when they needed you ..kind of fade when you make your family your 1st priority!!!
Thanks for reminding me that I’ve done the right thing!!
Amen Laurel. this is the order God has set forth, GOD, husband, children, everything else.
I am sorry these woman are treating you differently, but don’t let them discourage you. You are doing what God has called you to do.