There is an Italian Proverb that says, “Little children, headache; big children, heartache.” One of the biggest obstacles parents have is to not allow every mistake your child does reflect your parenting ability.
Parents are imperfect, kids are imperfect, and many times when our kids are imperfect it does not mean you are a poor parent. Sure there are parents who are the extreme and do not disciple their children, therefore the child acts out. But I am speaking to the parents who do everything to the best of their ability but still have children who make poor choices.
Part of me wanted to title this post, what happened to my three year old? You know the one who, when he disobeyed was sent into a time out, after a few minutes was apologetic and once again everything was right with the world. When you are raising a child that learns life’s lessons the hard way, prayer takes on a whole new meaning. So does pride. If you have any issues with pride, having a teenager will help eliminate that. ha!
On some days I would tell you I love raising a child that is passionate. They fight for what is right, they will not back down, and honestly they make the best friend to have. Then there are other days when they have to learn things the hard way. And by learning things the hard way, it is never something little. It is something that can leave your whole family spinning for a month, a season, or even longer.
Before my boys became teenagers I was privileged to have a friend who walked the road of dealing with a rocky teenager. What I saw was a parent clinging to their last rope, hurting, and afraid for their child. I wish I could tell you Christians gathered around and supported this family, unfortunately in this case there was not much support when they were hurting the worst. Granted I felt helpless at times as their friend, but I was there to listen and to constantly pray for this family.
Somehow every parent lives through raising teenagers, but let me tell you when you are in the midst of it some days are wonderful and exciting, other days leave you on your face before the Lord wondering if everything is going to come crashing down around you.
I have found though even during the hardest days, through the shedding of many tears, and prayers uttered….this mother would not trade one day of it for anything. I want my boys to look back one day and know this!
I remember the many discussion I had with a pastor over raising children. The comfort I had from these conversations is that I was not alone with my struggles — even pastors struggle.
I know that you and your husband do the best you can to raise your boys — I know it is not easy. I will keep you in my prayers…
I really enjoyed reading this post. It was so heartfelt. Thanks!
I have to keep reminding myself that their choices, good or bad, are not a reflection of me or my parenting abilities (or lack thereof). In recent months I have read several books on this very topic, it is so comforting to know that I am not the only one with a less than perfect child and that there is still hope for their futures in spite of any poor choices they make now.
BTW I am going to send you a FB invite.
hii..i jus randomly came over to ur site..um not a mum but an young boy…and ur reflections are really touching….keep writing..and the world today more of these kinda parenting blogs that makes sense….
luvv nd God bless
jeff
Thx my friend!!
Amen!! Thx for the FB invite and thanks for stopping by.
I've heard that teenagers need moms at home as much as toddlers, if not more. I was a stay at home mom until mine were teenagers and I truly believe that I should have been here during their teenage years, but circumstances changed and I had to go to work. They still need so much protection during these years, but freedom to make their own choices and live with the outcome, good or bad. We've come to a place where friendship are developing between us, yet I still have to have that discipline. It's a tough road to walk, raising teenagers…thankfully Someone carries me and holds my children in His hands.