Raising Kids Is Not For The Faint At Heart

by Lori

Looking Out1

I am finding with each child there are different struggles. There are no cookie cutter methods in being a great parent, what works for one does not work for the other. That fact frustrates me, but I praise God he is endless on patience and wisdom. I am also seeking wisdom from you. First off I am not speaking about the child in the photo above, but the way he is looking out the window communicates how I am feeling right now.

Those who are raising or have raised kids, have you ever gone through a season where a child pulls away from anything to do with family? My child is a good boy, does well in school, does not get in trouble, has a nice group of friends, but when it comes to being with family there is no emotion. Some examples:

    1. Tried to reach out and do something we know the child would enjoy, I think he did enjoy himself, but as a parent you felt like you were speaking to a wall the whole time. No response or emotion.



    2. You give them some tasks like “Make sure you do this…” or “remember Dad is picking you up from school today.” Each task is forgotten, they ride the bus home, they respond they did not “remember.” This has happened to many times to count.



    3. This child rides the school bus, but usually he lets me know when he is leaving the house in the morning. This morning I did not even realized he had left until I searched for him and found him gone.

I know, as a parent, our job is not to parent so our children like us or think we are cool. But right now I would settle for acknowledging we are alive. Both my husband and I are struggling and praying, asking the Lord to show us how to love him so that he feels loved. I also tell myself it is just a stage and I pray that is true. His birthday is coming up and when we inquire what he would like to do, it is always, “I dunno.”

The only person my son lights up for is his grandfather. I sit there and watch the two of them interact with the amazement of seeing my son come out of his shell, but also with hope that one day he can interact with his parents the same way.

Have any of you gone through a similar season. And believe me I am already praying for him and asking God for wisdom. And I will make sure I am active in his life whether he wants me there or not. I am just frustrated and feel I would get more reaction from parenting the walls within my house than I do with one of my sons.

Thanks for letting me ramble.

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Tagged as: Family, raising kids, Teenagers

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  • astonesthrowfrominsanity
    Oh, dear one, how hard for you! I have not yet experienced this season with my own kiddies, but I have taught teenagers for 13 years and sometimes kids go through very real depression just like adults. Could he be depressed? I will be keeping you all close to my heart. - Annie
  • hugs my friend; as your title said not for the faint of heart and that's for sure!

    I'll be praying for you!
  • No doubt about it, parenting is tough business. I went through a similar thing with my step-daughter and in some respects I'm still going through it even though she's in college. When she's around her friends she's all smiles and laughter, but as soon as we come around she's as somber as a church mouse. It's hard. Prayer is the key. And never stop trying to be in your son's life.
  • Forgot to mention - the photo is marvelous!!!!!!
  • Oh, Lori, I so know what you are talking about. Well, although we only raised one son, but we were in a similar season at one point....Seemed like we were not even in the same house. But believe, it only is a season...Now, when he calls, he wants to chat with his dad and only talks to me when he needs something - lol...But I am okay with that (most of the time)...I am thankful that we still have communication with our son -- on a good level. KWIM? Some parents don't even know what their children are doing...
    Sending you hugs from AZ....
  • Debbie Petras
    I can understand your concern. I don't have great words of wisdom since I don't have children. But I remember when my nieces went through times like this. Katie (who now is 21 and living in NYC) was very quiet and more of a loner. But she's doing fine now. So prayerfully he'll be OK. Maybe Dad could take him golfing? I don't know. Hugs to you, Debbie
  • Great thoughts and no you are not alone. My oldest son, who is grown now, was much like that. Very independent, never clingy or affectionate. Very different from our other children, which is what made it difficult for me because I WANTED to be more involved in his day to day stuff, but he had other plans. What I had to learn to do is take the things that he did welcome me into and run like a bull with it. And not take it so personally that he seemingly preferred (possibly Grandpa) over me, because when it came down to it - it was me (his mommie) that he ran to when he fell down and was hurt, and when he was older ... it was me (mommie) who he ran to for advice and guidance. Isn't it funny how different each of our kids become. :)
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