Proverbs 31 woman with a crooked halo.

by Lori

maxine This is sure how I feel lately. Some days my brain feels like it is going to explode. Having three kids in three different schools, means three times the paperwork, three different schedules, and three times the clutter in my house. Then we have football schedule (x3), what day am I suppose to bring the snack and juice again? And sometimes if I am real lucky two different sporting events overlap. At the beginning of this month, my two older boys were finishing up basketball while football had already begun. Then add to the mix two boys in braces, one boy in tutoring, tons of homework due, laundry, dirty house, etc…

Calgon take me away.

I had one mother look at me and ask, “Laurel how do you do it all with these three boys?” First of all I feel guilty because I only have three, I have a girlfriend who has 10 kids and Mothering seems to be her spiritual gift. I really wanted to respond, well we all pitch in at home so every thing is completed and I cook healthy meals for my family despite our schedule.
Entering Magic Kingdom

In reality I looked at her and said, “I really don’t know, all I know is my house is a mess and I fed my kids healthy mac and cheese as we ran out the door. By the way I love visitors, but when you come to sit down just move the piles of laundry on the couch to your side.” I have given up trying to have the “perfect home,” my friend of 10 kids taught me that. But I still feel like I fail the Proverbs 31 woman terribly.

Now don’t preach to me about organization, because I have read tons of books about it and I have improved, but I have not arrived. I love my google calendar that emails me appointment reminders. And I do try to plan meals every two weeks, but our family is famous for throwing dinner plans out because plans change.

Somewhere in the mix I read tons of books — travel to far away places— for review; I write — my creative outlet — for hire on the side, and at least once a week I try to catch up on laundry and house cleaning. Why do people never show up on those days? Oh yeah, and I blog.

So how do I do it?

* I gave up perfection.

* I plan ahead to the best of my ability but know plans change.

* Someone may appear to do things better than me (motherhood, housekeeping, etc..) but I know I am doing the best I can.

* I do something I enjoy at least once a week (like blog, read, or work on my writing).

* But most of all I place God first and give up the guilt of not being the perfect Proverbs 31 woman.

I know I will miss these crazy days, but for right now I am relying heavily on God’s guidance and peace.

I think Zephaniah 3:17 is my favorite life verse because God reminds me he will save me, when I go spinning off track, he will quiet me when craziness seems to swirl around me, but most of all (and despite all of my failures) he will rejoice over me.

“The LORD your God is with you, he is mighty to save. He will take great delight in you, he will quiet you with his love, he will rejoice over you with singing.”~ Zephaniah 3:17

So what about you? How do you survive being a mother, a grandmother, a primary care giver?

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Tagged as: calgon, Family, organization, proverbs, proverbs 31, scheduling

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  • Oh, Laurel, what a powerful post. I really, really needed to read that today. Yeah - I don't have kids to raise anymore, but for some reason I don't get things done.
    I really like what you said "I gave up perfection" ...

    Thank you so much for sharing this with us.
  • Thanks for this reminder! I am writing a "journey journal" on my blog about my quest toward organization. I guess after reading this, I need to assess whether it is a quest toward perfection! It always seems that others have it more together than I! I need to remember to let God "quiet me with His love".
  • I think you handled that very well!
  • I think you're a great mom! When I look around at my house and feel like pulling my hair out I think about my Aunt Linda. She had 3 boys and her house was always immaculate! Always! Right down to the white carpet! How did she do it? She'll be the first to tell you that she made her children, and herself miserable trying to keep everything so so.

    I'd much rather have happy kids and a dirty house. There'll be plenty of time for cleaning it up once they are grown!
  • I think "survive" is the operative word. Most days my to-do list is far longer than my done or want to do lists. The main things that are getting me through are constant prayers, and constantly reminding myself that this is just a season in my life - the time for the other things, like a clean house, will come later.
  • I know this is a second comment but I forgot to say something. Sometimes the plans the Lord has for our day are not the perfectly kept home and picture perfect life. Instead it may simply being open to the divine interruptions He may have planned for us. You have reached out to me at times in ways that have been such a blessing. And you never seem rushed but instead very caring and kind. With all of your other responsibilities, thank you for taking the time.
  • Gosh Laurel...you do have LOTS on your plate. But I love that verse you quoted in Zephaniah, especially how He will rejoice over you with singing! How precious to even begin to picture.

    Although I have no children, I feel a huge responsibility between keeping up with a large house, my husband, my family in different parts of the country and working full time with my husband in a new field for me.

    I've made the choice to always (99% of the time) take time to begin my day in a quiet time; reading my Bible and praying. Even though I have to get up quite early to do this, it's well worth the sleep I'm missing because the Lord blesses me with His presence, His strength and wisdom for my day. Sometimes, I stumble to my quiet corner each morning reaching for my first cup of coffee but I can still praise Him and thank Him for the day and how He will work. With everything I do, I want to "work as unto the Lord".

    And Laurel, often that isn't perfectly at all...but simply the best I can do at this point in time. But the Lord knows our hearts intimately.
  • Very encouraging and, for me, very timely. I appreciated your "things I do" list and noted Scripture very much. Right now, I don't think I could tell you what I do to cope. (not doing much of that lately) So, great admonish.
  • Laurel...YOU win the prize for the busiest mom! I don't know ANY mother who juggles more than you--and you are STILL sane!
    I know you have also found that the LORD watches over you and is HELPING you to accomplish all things...and He is glorified with every day---every move---every writing---blog---meal---athletic meet---etc....because through all of the activities it is EVIDENT where your heart is. You bless me EVERY time!
  • Hey Laurel. Thank you for this post. People ask me all the time "how I do it with four" and I always think 'not very well'. Because I always feel like I am barely getting by and am surprised that's not transparent to the rest of the world. But what I usually respond is "with lots of prayer and caffeine" which is about right.

    Thank you for the verse. It's just what I needed to hear today.
  • Just when I think my life is crazy, I step back and look at someone elses (like yours!) and reminds me that everyone is struggling with the same issues. 3 kids, 3 different schools, all in football? Eeeks!

    Letting go of perfection is the hardest part but it is the one thing that we all have to do. I have a friend with 7 kids, and like your one with 10, she makes it look so easy. You know what though? She let go of perfection long, long ago. For example... they bought a really old farm table for their kitchen. Why buy a new one and freak out when it gets scratched? She has lots of little bits of wisdom that I need to live by!
  • Oh Laurel - I hear ya!

    My house is always such a mess, all I seem to have time to do...is pick up the clutter.

    I am so hard on myself also, but I just try to remind myself that there are just so many hours in a day, I am only one person, and my kids are young....so it'll get better, right?
  • Wow Laurel,

    This is a great post and we all feel this way at times. I only have one child and a dog. Sheesh.. I still never seem to get everything done. Glad to see I am among good company.. Hugs!!
  • Kim
    Laurel~
    What a great post capturing what so many of us feel!! This time of the year TRULY adds a new set of schedules, and trying to "fit" everything in.

    You certainly seem to have the right perspective, and THANKFULLY the Lord understands our hearts, our limitations, and our needs!!

    I too, try to organize a family calendar...but as you've stated, often, plans change and my biggest challenge is to be flexible enough...to change as well!
  • I have been feeling much the same way for different reasons. My two girls are suddenly developing! Ack! And I am only used to dealing with boys (I don't remember much about this particular time that would help them---I was miserable, I screamed at everyone, and I cried after school everyday.) And my boy, he suddenly isn't a baby anymore.
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