Come

 

While my kids were growing up I always thought to myself, “next stage will be easier.  Once they can (blank)” (talk, walk, share jokes , share their views, etc…).  What I am discovering is there is no “easy” stage while raising kids.  There are great days, great memories, but each stage of life brings joy and tears just like the last stage did.

I am drowning in college papers, trying to keep everything straight, while pretending I know what I am doing.  When in reality I am not so sure.  Sending your child off to college is hard enough emotionally, but all the paper work, keeping every financial duck in a row feels like an acrobat balancing plates.  I am just waiting for something to fall.

While performing my balancing act, I am working 10 hour days, friendships have waned, and more often than not I don’t “feel” God.  It is not an easy time in life.  Also I am in a season where I come to God and tell him “I am a sinner and I am not sure why you still want to keep hearing from me, yet you tell me to come.”  It is during these times where we don’t necessarily “feel” God but we know by past experience and through obedience He is there.

Yesterday God allowed me to see a glimpse of him taking care of things. My middle son is preparing to head to Student Life Camp.  I had told my  youngest son because of college expenses and my older son attending we were unable to pay for both of them going.  He was ok with that and understood.  Yesterday at the last minute a spot opened up and an arrangement financially allowed my youngest son to attend Student Life Camp.  I have to say both of us were very excited, but also I had tears knowing how excited he was (once he knew he could go).  God is in control and even our stupid little financial troubles don’t stand in the way for those who want to learn and experience Him (I am crying as I write that).

This season of life has been exciting and heart wrenching all at the same time.  And even though I may not “feel” God daily I KNOW he is there guiding, directing, leading, and comforting.

And even though I am a rotten sinner, he still says COME.  Not matter how you feel, COME.  Even if you have messed up for the thousandths time, COME.

All (sinners) who are weary..COME.

He will provide rest.